![]() Is there any way you can communicate your worries to your parents? I don't know the muslim religion very well but is there any religious precedent for this kind of thing? In the Bible there is something called "calling to the single life" which we believe may refer to asexuality, or Paul(?) who speaks of lust and marriage and a Christian asexual might be able to use religion to try and explain (although I think in a lot of cases, the parents are more concerned about their opinions of how things should be than what the Bible says). It is hard to say whether you have a quiet sexuality that will bloom when you marry or if you will be merely sex-positive with a partner if you fall in love with him. like "if my parents chose THAT man I wouldn't mind!" but maybe I'm misunderstanding sexual people a little. I would imagine someone waiting for marriage to at least check other people out. I know it is a little different, but I think even Christians who strongly believe in no sex before marriage still find other people sexually attractive. I'd be grateful for any tips or words of wisdom from you guys. How can I knock something I haven't tried? I hesitate to identify as asexual, since I have absolutely zero sexual experience. My main concern is: am I just scared of the unknown mysteries of sex and relationships? I've lived a very chaste existence til now, but I am not prudish in my thoughts (far from it, I'm actually a smutty slash fanartist, hehe). After mentioning these dreams to a friend, she suggested AVEN as a safe place to explain my situation and see what you guys think. I figured that my child-like existence for the past 24 years was the reason for my anti-sex feelings, and that my transition into a sexually aware person was just going more slowly than for "normal" people. I am certain these are not memories of past abuse (I had a very happy sedate childhood). I've also had a few rape dreams, where a faceless man (supposedly my future spouse) is trying to kiss/touch me, and I'm feeling disgusted and betrayed and trying to run away. I enjoy the aesthetic at looking at an attractive man, but the other way round? Makes me feel ill. I'm not being forced to dress provocatively with tons of make up or anything, but the sheer fact that I know a guy is looking at me as a potential sexually attractive person REALLY freaks me out. But I have become increasingly disgusted about dressing in an attractive way for a potential spouse. I would love to find a life companion who shares my interests and cares about me. Now that I'm 24, my parents have started the arranged marriage process, and at first I was looking forward to it. I have never sought to attract somebody to me, nor did I look at anybody with sex in mind. ![]() I do it more because I feel I ought if I have the luxury of privacy. I can experience arousal and orgasm, but it's an entirely solitary act, I don't fantasise about anything when I do it, and I don't particularly feel the need to masturbate more than maybe once/twice a month. I am a romantic at heart, but I have never been sexually attracted to anybody, and I chalked this upto my intention to save myself until my arranged marriage. :)Īs such, I have never had a relationship. I hope I don't trigger any anti-arranged marriage comments in this thread - it's a touchy issue, but for my situation, there is no coercion involved. Arranged marriage in a modern family like mine is very much like normal dating, except with closer parental involvement. ![]() ![]() I have always known my parents intended for me to have an arranged marriage with a Muslim man when I reached a suitable age, and I was quite comfortable with that. I'm very liberal in my thoughts (pro all expressions of gender/sexuality/spirituality/politics), though in my actions I have remained completely chaste. I'm English, female (cisgendered), 24 years old, supposedly straight, and raised Muslim. I'm not entirely comfortable identifying as asexual, but I hope you guys will have some thoughts and opinions when I share my story. things seem to be clicking into place for me. ![]() I discovered this site on the recommendation of a friend, and. Hi everyone :) I'm new here, and have been enjoying reading the forum posts. ![]()
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